8 Ways to Feel Closer After Sex

Take a moment to think about what you and your guy usually do after sex. Chances are, it’s sleep, eat, or flip on the TV. Not exactly romantic, especially considering that the few hours afterward are one of the best times to bond. “When you orgasm, hormones are released that make you feel more connected,” says clinical sexologist Rachael Ross, MD, PhD. “Take advantage of that by doing things to prolong the feeling.” But that doesn’t mean intense conversations or eye gazing—little gestures can reap big benefits. Try these tips tonight.



1. If you’re hungry, forgo ordering a pizza and instead break out red wine and cheese. It will continue the sensual vibe you had going, and the antioxidants in the vino will increase blood flow, relaxing both of you.

2. Upgrade your usual postsex shower by giving each other neck rubs. The bonding hormones oxytocin and prolactin that are released when you climax are also triggered by touch, so the massage will extend the feelings of closeness.

3. Before you get busy, turn off anything with an on button, like your cell phones, laptops, and TV. That way, the only thing you’ll be plugged into afterward is each other, not your Facebook news feed or DVR queue.

4. Instead of rolling over once the action is done, drape one of your legs over his and rest your hands on his chest. It will keep you connected without doing the spooning thing.

5. One word: candles. Light a few after you hook up (instead of before) and the mood will instantly feel more romantic.

6. Play hooky and call in sex—er, sick after your romp. Having to leave ASAP, whether it’s to meet a friend for brunch or attend your can’t-miss Spin class, is a total mood killer. Reschedule your plans, and enjoy a leisurely hour or two of doing nothing together in bed.

7. Set your iPod to a romantic playlist. Choose tunes that remind you of your favorite moments together (like a concert you went to). Just listening to them will make you two feel closer without having to speak.

8. Reverse-strip each other. Slowly button his shirt, and let him zip up your skirt. Dressing each other is super intimate since it taps in to the primal instinct to “preen” your mate.

Sources: Sex Therapist Eric Garrison, author of Mastering Multiple-Position Sex; Clinical Sexologist Racheal Ross, MD, PhD